“Just Friends” Is It Possible?

I was told that girls and guys couldn’t be just “friends.”

It’s bound that one of the two will end up being attracted to each other and it will potentially ruin everything.

Here is my story.

I have two brothers and I grew up playing sports. I would say I had a tom-boyish side to me! I found myself around guys because of my love for sports. I developed rich relationships where the mindset wasn’t to romantically get to know each other. It was simply that I was a part of their life and they were a part of mine. Their friendship became a part of my story.

They were great friends. They had my back. I had theirs. We laughed. I cried. They listened (you know guys think they are too macho to cry lol). We got mad at each other. We had deep conversations.  We had shallow conversations. We had friendship.

Did they take the place of the kind of friendship that a female would mean to me? No. Instead, they added something different.

A kind of different that helped me see things from a completely different angle. A kind that helped me understand how and why God made us different. A kind that enriched me as a girl.

Then, things began to change.

As I continued growing in my relationship with God, ironically, the “Christian culture” started shifting the way I would view my relationship with guys.

I would hear all of these rules that made sure we ladies and men knew how to “interact” with one another:

 “Make sure you give side hugs.” They would say.

“Don’t be alone with a guy…it doesn’t look good. People can assume the worst.”

And of course this one…“Girls and guys just can’t be friends.”

Having the kind of relationships I had with guys, yet wanting to “guard my heart,” I found myself in an interesting place.

I started being looked at “funny” when I would grab lunch with one of my “guy” friends because of the assumption that we were “talking.”

All of a sudden, I started believing, well maybe I really can’t be friends with a guy. Maybe it isn’t a good look. Maybe it’s just not possible to have anything outside of a romantic relationship with a guy.

 So what did I do?

I completely shut off the male friends I had in my life. GREAT male friends at that. Ones who were always encouraging.  Ones who edified me. Ones who genuinely cared for me. Ones I enjoyed being around.  (I know—horrible).

I couldn’t handle what people were saying. I couldn’t find a way to explain myself without feeling judged and misunderstood.

So, I bought into the lie.

The lie that our brothers can’t offer us real friendship because it’s just too dangerous!

The lie that having a guy friend could keep you from recognizing your husband. 

The lie that girls get too attached and it could cause confusion.

The lie that the guy is really attracted to you but you kept him in the friend zone, but if you were to have given him a chance to be more, he would go for it. 

To be honest…as I’ve grown older and more mature in my faith…I’ve recognized that much of this is nothing but ignorance at its best to keep our minds in a shallow, limited and deceived place.

I deal with women on a daily basis.  The ministry that God has given me encourages women to walk worthy in the manner of our calling. To be whole. To love God so we can live this life with all that He has for us- in all areas.

Not to bash men. Not to paint men to be the bad guy. Not to tell ladies that they can’t have male friends. Not to call every man that is not their husband a “random.”

Because I refuse to believe that any man is “random”.

Yes, there are those guys who are NOT good for you. But they aren’t random. They have purpose and they have destiny. It’s just that you are not a part of that for them.

I’m very cautious that this ministry doesn’t negate the place of the opposite sex in our lives just because it’s a women’s group. I seek to help women understand the intention and purpose of relationships in ALL areas. Not just when it is confined to a husband and wife.

So I write from a place of frustration that in the body of Christ, there is no ONE talking about how to have HEALTHY relationships with the opposite sex. Rather, it’s all about, “you are precious, (which you are) and you just have to worry about being precious for your husband, (not for anyone else?)

What is that about?

What happened to the days where we can really look at each other as brothers and sisters? Hang out in a group of males and females and enjoy one another’s company without confusion of what we are?

And I’m not talking about being naïve to the temptations that are around, but genuinely asking God to give us pure hearts and eyes so that our place in each other’s life is respected and lived to enhance one another in love. In service. In authentic relationship.

Because it’s SO NEEDED.

Too many of us are out there trying to navigate through life with a tainted perspective of how the opposite sex has a role in your life, leading us to immature decisions.

AGAIN… I am NOT saying be naïve!

There are boundaries. There is WISDOM that we as humans must use. And YES we must guard our hearts (men and women). Our emotions are real. Our situations are unique.

What I am saying is that true maturity in God comes when we are able to recognize the purpose of friendship and not allow the over-sexualized thinking of society infiltrate the purity of friendship and confine what the Lord has called us to be free in.

And as believers, we have the Spirit of God willing to guide us in all we do. If we are willing to submit our thoughts and actions to Him in this area of relationships, He will guide us. He will give us discernment and offer us caution when needed and freedom where it’s needed.

And I believe freedom IN the mind is needed when it comes to having healthy relationships with the opposite sex because IT IS POSSIBLE.

God is not confined by our gender!

I have been beyond blessed to have some incredible men of God who value me as a woman. They speak life to me. They let me know when I’m making a bad decision and cheer me on when I’ve made the right ones.

They tell me I’m beautiful. And I don’t take it in a romantic or pushy way. I hear it in a way that lets me know that I am loved and appreciated and that my worth is recognized.

It’s not enough to tell women and little girls to not be lured into the wrong guy because he tells you that you’re beautiful. We must be willing to let them recognize the ones who mean it, not because they want anything from you, but because they recognize a gem when they see it.

I know many women who have been hurt by men and many men who have been hurt by women. And many minds have been tainted to no longer trust one another. So we learn to keep our guards up with that mindset rather than move towards true reconciliation of bringing back the purity of friendship.

So my dear sisters and brothers, as always…I share from a place of first knowing that true understanding and perspective comes from a deeper knowing of God. Keep spending time in God so that He will reveal the RIGHT and HEALTHY friendships to enter into with the opposite sex.

I also take this time to sincerely thank every male in my life who LOVES me genuinely and pushes me to be the best that I can be! I am a product of you all! You know who you are! I am sorry for buying into the lie that we couldn’t be friends.

 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:11-12).

Because truth is…we ladies want to be adored

I was having a conversation with my spiritual mom a couple of weeks ago.  I love the wisdom that I glean from her—about all areas of life. Especially about relationships.  Here is a heartfelt little something I wrote that came from that conversation…

She asked me what I wanted.

I replied…

“I want to be adored.”

She smiled.

“I know it sounds selfish. It may even sound vain. But I do.

 I want whomever God brings into my life to adore me.

 To treasure me.

To know that I am a good thing.

Not adoration based on infatuation.

That will fade.

Very soon.

But I want adoration based on his knowing the Giver of this gift he beholds.

I want adoration that protects the heart of this soul.

I want adoration that keeps shining the diamond that’s within me.

I want adoration that corrects me when I’m wrong.

I want adoration that doesn’t care who is looking when his eyes gazes in mine.

I want adoration that will keep fanning the flames of my gifts.

I want adoration that adores the Maker even the more for creating me.

Yep…I want to be adored.

And I am willing to wait for him.”

God & Vocabulary Tests…

Vocabulary tests used to be my absolute favorite in Elementary school -especially the ones where you only needed to match the word with the definition.

Why?

Because it was easy to memorize.

I didn’t have to put much effort into studying something that I could memorize. Now, it was a completely different story when I studied by only memorizing the definition and then came to find out that the test expected us to apply those vocabulary words in sentences.[I’m sure we’ve all had that shock:-)] That created a bit of a problem because I didn’t actually LEARN the words. I didn’t know how to apply them.

Had I continued the habit of memorizing words and definitions rather than truly learning them, my vocabulary would have never expanded and it would have stunted my growth in my reading and writing.

Now take this concept and think about our relationship with God.

When we settle on simply memorizing God over knowing and experiencing a true and intimate relationship with Him, the same happens. We can’t grow. We can’t expand. We can’t be true witnesses of Him or for Him.

It’s easy to memorize scripture verses. Worship songs. Teachings. And who can forget the Christian lingo that we all have.

But what happens when life expects you to apply His Word? Or live out the worship songs we sing…

You know ones we sing with such conviction…

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk across the waters. Wherever you may lead me…”

Yet when it comes to having to really step out on faith and walk on water with a certain situation, we are crippled. [I’m guilty of this]

Why? Because we’ve only memorized these songs. We haven’t truly experienced the God of these songs. The One who calls us out of the boat, onto the water, but doesn’t let us sink. The One who leads with a plan and never to forsake us.

We live life long enough, it will force what’s inside of us to come out. And if all we’ve done is memorize God, we’ve kept Him at the surface and have not given Him the opportunity to be etched into our hearts and our lives so that what we know about Him could be seen in how we live our lives.

Memorizing doesn’t create the level of confidence that experience does. An experience with God is undeniable. Nothing can take it from you. And you speak about Him with conviction. You speak of what He is able to do as your reality and not as someone else’s reality.

Memorizing fades. Memorizing doesn’t give you anything personal to connect with it. It keeps you at a distance. 
And there are many of us who are trying to grow in God by simply memorizing Him. And it can’t or won’t happen.

God says to us that He wants us to EXPERIENCE Him. He wants us to graft His words in our hearts so that they flow and influence our words and actions. He wants us to learn His ways so that we won’t be tossed to and fro when the waves of our lives get a little stronger.

Learning Him and Living Him comes from an authentic place.

I encourage you. Invite Him into your days. Commune with Him as you go through your day. Talk with Him. Ask of Him. Rely on Him. 
He says to us, “Don’t just be hearers of the word, but be doers.”(James 1:22).

Taste and See that the Lord is Good! (Psalm 34:8)

 There is TOO much to experience in Him for Him to just be memorized.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

*Speaking of Christian lingos, check out this funny video of things Christians say”—While it’s funny, it makes you think—why do we say some of the things we say? Does it really mean something or is just a learned/memorized behavior?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dxo0Yjno3I

Embracing “Alone” Seasons

I believe that one of the deepest fears we as humans have is being lonely. I know I’ve ever liked the thought of it. And I’m not talking about romantic relationships, but relationships in general. To feel as though we don’t have friends or we don’t have any one to share life with is a pretty real and fearful thought.

I experienced a season in my life when I first moved up to Jersey where I felt just that. Not having any friends up here, I felt so lonely.  I didn’t have anybody I truly connected with so after work, I would come home and be by myself. It didn’t feel good. When people at work would talk about what they were doing for the weekend, I never talked because I felt embarrassed that I was just going to spend it by myself.

One thing I didn’t want to do was compromise who I was for the sake of having friends. So it was a hard season in my life.  It wasn’t what I was used to. I was used t always being around people and being involved in activities. Though I couldn’t truly understand what God was doing, I knew He was up to something.

I will never forget a conversation I had with a dear friend during that season that helped me to accept what God was up to. She said, “Yodit, look at this time as vacation time with you and God because there will come a time when you will always be around people and you will wish for this time” And was she ever right!!

That night, I got a revelation of what God was doing. Though I felt lonely, God wanted me to see that yes, I was alone….with HIM. No distractions. No hindrances. No competition. Just me and Him. His promise that He will “never leave us nor forsake us” (Hebrews 13:5) became so real to me!

The enemy will have us think that being alone means we’re lonely. But I’ve learned from my experience that being alone was the foundation to why I am where I am now. Little did I know that this season was all a part of God’s strategy for my life. The moments of crying out—the moments of searching—the moments of hearing Him—the moments where I would feel His unrelentless love for me –all became the rich soil in which the fruits of my relationships now grow. I learned that being alone was God’s cry for a deeper relationship with Him—a friendship that would overflow into the friendships I formed when it was time.

There may be some of you who may be dealing with this right now. I want to encourage you that this season is so vital for what God needs you to hear and needs you to become so that the love and intimacy you develop in this season will pour into the friendships and circumstances He will bring to you.

Know that feeling lonely will only make you feel worthless. But understanding that you are alone with HIM will make you feel valued.

Feeling lonely will keep you from hearing God’s truth about you. But acknowledging that you are alone with Him will allow you to hear what God wants to say to you.

Feeling lonely will make you contemplate compromising. But accepting that you are alone with HIM will make you know that He is enough for you and can fulfill any desire.

There is strength and beauty in being alone. It’s not as scary as you think. So much will come from it. So don’t let the enemy deceive and confuse your mind. He’s just a bit frightened of what God wants to do in this season of your life.

Embrace this season being alone with HIM—see it as your vacation time with God. Know that He is preparing you for an abundance that will need to come from the overflow of your time with Him now!! Take it from me;-)

Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like Talking, But…

Every time I have the chance to go into New York City, whether it is for work or for fun, I’m always reminded of how much I enjoy the city environment. It can be overwhelming-especially if you’re in a car, stuck in traffic; but for me, there is something about that many people going about their daily lives that makes me expectant on experiencing a non-dull moment. And trust, there is never a dull moment in the city…all you have to do is embrace the art of people watching 

Everyone is on a mission to get somewhere in the city. Sadly, as many people live in that city, it’s surprising that there is so much disconnection. Eyes are glued to phones. Ears are plugged into music. And truth be told, I have been guilty of doing the same: focused on my destination with my music as my soundtrack.

That was interrupted the other day.

I came into the city for work and God showed me something. Arriving into the city with only 30 minutes left to get to my meeting, I prayed that I would quickly find a taxi and get there on time. Faithfully, God answered my prayers and I found myself inside the taxi, relieved and grateful.

Most of us experience that awkward silence, where at times I have found it to be extrememly uncomfortable, to be in the same car as someone and not say a word—so I did what anyone would do—enter my own little world…in my phone. Away from feeling any more awkwardness.

Suddenly, God pressed on my heart to ask the taxi driver how he was doing. To be quite honest, I didn’t have the energy to engage in conversation. I was fine scrolling through my IG. And I was more concerned about whether I would arrive to my meeting on time.

But I chose to obey and til this day, I’m so glad I did.

Seiko, my taxi driver, was a bit taken back that I was taking the time to ask him how he was doing, but to see his eyes light up and fully embrace the conversation showed me something:

People are dying to talk. To share their stories. To express their opinions. To simply be heard.

And as Seiko and I talked about our beloved continent of Africa, as he was from Liberia, we entered into this new space of connectivity. As I heard and felt his passion about his land, his family, and his background, I realized in that moment that my obedience in asking him that one simple question had unlocked his voice. His story.

That is the power of conversation. We, as God’s ambassadors, have the opportunity every day to help others unlock their voice. To be heard. To share. To express.

Conversations create the fertile ground for the seeds of life and hope to be planted.

I can’t imagine how many people are walking around in silence because no one would take the time to start a conversation with them.

You have that opportunity today. Don’t miss it. It can start with a simple “Hi” and end with someone’s life being forever changed.

Like golden apples set in silver is a word spoken at the right time. (Proverbs 25:11)

When God Doesn’t Tell You What’s Next….

In this faith walk, you get to certain points where you are clear on what God is doing and then there other times when you just have NO idea what His next step for you is.

It’s clear to me that God’s hand is on my life. And it seems like when God says in His word that we move from faith to faith, He knew that even when we know that He orders our steps, we will experience these real moments when we still question what the next step is.

And because He knows that this has been the thoughts and prayers of my heart lately, it’s just like Him to lead me to an answer that would shut me up lol.

The other day, as I was talking with Him, He led me to this scripture…

 “Be content in Obscurity, like Christ…” (Colossians 3:4 MSG)

And of course He knew I was going to respond with…what the what?

God, what do you mean you want me to be OK with not knowing what is coming next?? How do I remain content in sensing that shift is taking place but yet having no idea what that means? I mean…how else do I prepare if I don’t know what I’m preparing for.

These are real questions I have for God because yes, at times fear creeps in. it can be tough to desire to please God so much that you become paralyzed because you can’t see a concrete next step.

And all along, God is trying to tell me…(this is how God talks to me—He can be quite humorous ;-))

Be OK with being in the dark. Because if I’m telling you that I am the LIGHT (John 8:12) and you fix your gaze on me (Prov. 4:25), there is no way that you will remain there forever.

You don’t have to know everything. Believe it or not, knowing everything requires no faith in Me. Some things are better left unknown until I reveal them….Why? Because you will never live in the moment.

You can’t handle knowing everything. “YOU CAN”T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!’ (Sorry—it just seemed appropriateJ ) But on a serious note—Remember, My job is to protect and prepare you.  Knowing everything will probably cause you more worry than the simple act of putting your trust in Me to guide you. Learn from Adam and Eve. It was never meant for them to know everything, but look what disobedience led them to.

I know you better than you know yourself. It’s true. I kinda created you. And I know every bit of detail there is to know about you (Psalm 139).  Most times than not, you come to realize that what you wanted to know so badly at one point, you could have waited. So because I know that, I help you out before you even have to get there;-) (I’m a Good God huh?)

Remain focused where you are. Do you not see what I am doing in the midst of you? And within you? I’m building in you character. I’m giving you insight. I’m offering you wisdom. Stop living in the future that has yet to happen and probably won’t happen the way you already claimed in your mind it will. So just stop. Be in the moment so you won’t regret it later.

Learn as much as you can where you are. Remember when you used to work for the yearbook and you used to develop pictures in the dark room? What happened when the image was exposed to light too quickly—it messed up! In the same way, there is so much growth that happens in your season of obscurity. Focus on learning all that life will teach you right where you are.

Obscurity isn’t purposeless. Don’t be deceived by what this world says about not knowing what your next step is. You aren’t lazy. You aren’t a wanderer. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. You don’t have to lean on your understanding as the world does. Obscurity doesn’t mean you’re lost. It just means I love you enough to be intentional with you on what your next step is. It’s that important to me. So relax…Be content! You’re taken care of. Your days were numbered before one of them came to be. So why not let me  lead you through them?? (Psalm 139:16)

Whewww..well..God sure has a way of bringing us a peace that passes all understanding even when it means giving up our right to understand. He really  loves us!  So yes, I don’t know what the next step is. But I will not worry myself to fear and discontentment with where He has me NOW. I will—with the peace of God—be CONTENT in obscurity.

“WHAT? You’re SINGLE? WHY?”

Yes, I’m “single” and No..I’m NOT anxious or miserable.

I used to feel like something was wrong with me when I would tell people that I’m single because I would get that confused look with the… “WHAT? WHY? It’s impossible for you to be (and here is what guys would say lol) smart, ambitious, loves God, successful and NOT in a relationship…” statement.

I find it humorous…but very telling of how people view what being in a relationship means and what being single means.

Well…geez…I’m sorry for failing your expectations lol. (That’s how I USED to feel)

But thank GOD for His perspective that has changed mine.

 Hear my heart on this. I am NOT against relationships. In fact, I am here to shout from the mountain top that I HONOR the God given gift of MARRIAGE and the process that leads to that covenant. It’s beautiful. It’s special and it’s fruitful.

And BECAUSE I feel this way, my desire is to share the importance of being very intentional when it comes to this area of our lives.

The culture that we are in throws A LOT at us in regards to relationships and what that is and what that means and we hear so many conflicting views. One tells us women that we are independent and that we don’t need any man to validate you and then the other side tells us something is wrong with you if you are NOT in a relationship. So we are in this weird space of wanting to understand our independence and not denying our desire.

I desire to please God and honor this gift He gives us. I am NOT an expert. I simply speak and share from that which has produced fruit in my life. So now when I’m asked by puzzled people, why I am “STILL SINGLE,” this is what I would like them to know:-)

1.       A relationship is MORE than what meets the eye.

Relationships aren’t meant to be fads. They aren’t met to be changed like we change our clothes. The coming together of two people is more than what meets the eyes. So many dynamics that take place. I’ve learned that it affects much more than our happiness. It affects a generation. As a believer, and one who honors relationships and desires marriage, I have learned that when two lives come together, a whole generation can be affected—good or bad. Yes, I know it sounds way too serious but it is…to me. The wisdom that I’ve asked God to give me is to help me see what is beyond what meets the eyes because the fruit that we bear from our relationship should be life giving. It should bring peace. It should inspire. It should honor. It should show the working of God’s love in and through us.

When we come to see relationships the way that God sees them, we will be awakened to just HOW important it is to be WISE in whom we come into relationship with.

Yes, sometimes God takes longer than we desire so we lean on our own understanding and end up finding ourselves in situations we don’t want to. And so I thank Him for mercy and grace to lead us back to Him.

Can I encourage you? God desires companionship for you more than you want for yourself. But it’s not as lightly as we make it out to be. Relationships are the joining of two individual lives seeking to honor and serve each other. Not just fulfill each other’s desires. And when covenant comes through marriage, you two are playing a part of a BIGGER story—that is the story of LOVE, SERVICE, DYING to oneself. You are coming together to further His Kingdom. How can we take that lightly?  My prayer is that God continues to open our eyes and gives us the wisdom to discern and understand deeper the purpose of a relationship.

2.       Relationships don’t define your worth or success in life.

Relationships aren’t something that you check off a list as if once you’ve attained it, you’ve reached a certain level of success or merit. There is a misconception that entering a relationship because you seem to be a “good girl” or a “good guy” and have it all together is the only qualification-as if that stamp of approval adds more worth to you.

I unashamedly declare that my life is full whether I am or am not in a relationship. We can’t afford to build our life’s foundation on a relationship and allow society to deceive us into believing that a relationship defines YOU.

I have heard far too many women think that something is wrong with them because they aren’t in a relationship. That makes me sad because it’s not true.

Can I encourage you? Men and women, there is meaning in life outside a relationship. NOTHING is wrong with you. Don’t grow weary in the waiting and asking for discernment for recognizing the right one who will build on Christ’s foundation rather than their own merits or success.

But most importantly, don’t grow weary in fully LIVING life and being fulfilled by the Giver of LIFE during this time.

Don’t believe the lies that life is somewhat “better” because you are in a relationship.

Life should be better NOW.

We should have the desire to walk worthy of this calling  whether we are  in or not in a relationship.

I believe contentment in where we are NOW is the groundwork for fulfillment in where God chooses to bring us later. Christ didn’t come so that our worth and purpose could be found in a relationship.

I pray that we begin to see ourselves the way God sees us and know that we are relentlessly LOVED and WORTH so much, with our without a relationship.

3.       Be careful why you choose to be in a relationship

Now, let me make it very clear AGAIN…. I desire marriage. No fronts there. I think God knows my heart and will grant me that desire- IN HIS TIME. The problem I’ve seen around me is that many choose a relationship because they are lonely, discontent, or they feel the other person makes them feel good, or they affirm them or they’re successful. They’re ambitious. They’re sweet. They’re everything that at some point in time may fade away. And that’s the scary thing. So many relationships are built on fading desires and qualifications. Not enough build on pure desire to love. Serve. Give. Deny. Honor. Endure…things that God delights in because they won’t fade.

So I’ve realized that I can’t afford to fade nor am I meant to fade. Too much purpose in me to be attached to what doesn’t help me flourish and stand firm in God.

Can I encourage you? Male or female…you are precious. You are purpose. And you can’t afford to attach your purpose to just anybody.

Ask yourself why is it that you choose to be or desire a relationship?  I pray that God gives us the right heart.

4.       Believe and TRUST God

Trust me when I tell you I’ve had one too many conversations on this topic with God.  Did I say many? MANY! And my sharing this post with you is really to let you know that it wasn’t until I came to BELIEVE and TRUST GOD about this area of my life that I was able to make this resolve in my heart that I will WAIT for the one that God has for me. I will WAIT for the moment when I recognize that it’s time because God WILL HELP me discern time and that person when I choose to remain CONNECTED to the TRUE VINE (John 15). And it won’t be simply because he is affirming my worth in life, and he is successful, ambitious, handsome, smart, and all those qualities that may fade.  I’m not saying that these are not qualities that I look for. But I BELIEVE and TRUST God that He will help me discern qualities in someone who I can commit my life to because he fits the plans of God for my life and I fit  his and together we become part of a greater story–the Kingdom. This person will take part in helping me build on a SOLID foundation. And please hear me…it’s not that I don’t think finding the person attractive, ambitious, humorous, gentle, caring and all of that important, (Oh trust…there should be a level of attraction lol) but they won’t be the foundation I base it on. I choose to believe and trust God that if He has been so strategic and detailed in every other area of my life, than HOW MUCH MORE this area? The main point is to stay connected to HIM. Stay serving Him by being engaged with what you have been given NOW.  He won’t steer you wrong and even if you have made wrong turns, He will steer you right where you need to be!

Ask yourself…do you BELIEVE and TRUST GOD?

Well…there you have it. I’m happy. I’m content. I’m full in life and full off the GIVER of life. And when that time comes…I will continue to be happy. I will continue to be content. And I will continue to be full.

An “Autostereogram” Type of Faith

Do you remember those images that if you stared at them long enough, another image would emerge from it?  I found out they are called “autostereograms.” (too fancy for my liking;-) –

*check out the “autostereogram” image above–a shark is supposed to emerge when you stare*

You would have to stand very close to the image, and then slowly move it away from you. As you moved it away, but fixed your gaze on it—an image within the image would emerge and I always remember the amazement I felt when I would actually see something.

There is a God who works in this way.

A relationship with God should always leave us in amazement-but it’s when we obey His word to fix our eyes on Jesus…the Author and Perfecter of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2)

When we live our lives with a fixed gaze on God,  that is when we make room for things to emerge. In the same way an image emerged when we fixed our eyes on the painting, God allows peace to emerge in the midst of chaos. He allows joy to emerge in the midst of pain. He allows discernment to emerge in the midst of distractions. He allows purpose to emerge in the midst of misunderstanding.

All He desires is that we FIX our eyes on Him.  He knows fiery darts will be thrown at us. In fact, He warns us. Plans will come to ruin. Those closest to us will stab us in the back. He knows.  And all the while, the enemy wants us to forget that God knows so that when we do experience the hardship, we will be quick to blame God.

It’s all a scheme devised by the one who wants you to drown in your life’s circumstances.

Because in reality, when we fix our eyes on Jesus, it’s not so we can ignore what’s taking place around us. God doesn’t call us to be naïve. Nor is a relationship with Him asking us to be naïve.

You what to know how an image emerges from those paintings? It’s when you slowly walk away from the painting-WHILE your eyes are fixated on the painting.

You know how things begin to make sense in your life? When you allow God to help you step away and see the BIGGER picture of what you are going through or experiencing-WHILE fixing your eyes on HIM.

Will you allow God to move on your behalf? FIX your eyes on the Author and Perfecter of your faith- an autostereogram type of faith;-)

*yes, I coin phrases once in  a while*

Filling Fridays: “Every Day with My Maker” RELEASE..TODAY!

Many things in life will either FILL us or DRAIN us. I’ve desginated Fridays as “Filling Fridays” to share with you all things that have filled my soul, spirit, and life and I pray they do the same for you. Sometimes it’s music. It can be a book. It can be art. Whatever it is, the hope is that it will FILL you with something GOOD!

Today is a special day. After 21 days of counting down…the release of my first book LAUNCHES!

“Every day with My Maker” is a devotional book that has one simple goal: Get closer to God.

There is nothing I desire more in life than to live my life as a witness to the REALNESS of God. My life has made so much sense when I’ve opened my eyes to see in Him in every situation–knowing that He is not just someone who sits far away and counts my flaws. But He is near—in my every days, every moments, every seconds—and He loves me through my flaws and perfects my life through His presence. Through a relationship with Him. Every day.

It’s not easy releasing this because it’s releasing the most intimate moments I’ve had with God and how He’s spoken to me and how I’ve understood Him. But I know releasing this book is a part of what He has called me to do–not for me—but for Him! He’s given me these words to share with you all the power of a relationship with Him!

I truly pray that as you read this devotional book, that you don’t just read my words but your hear God and know without a shadow of a doubt that He is madly in love with you!!

May this FILL you richly!!

Opening my books for the first time with my Pastors—HUGE supporters and encouragers! Bishop George and Pastor Mary Searight!!

“Every Day with My Maker”
www.amazon.com

Is This Really Happening??? Journey to my Devotional Book

I didn’t know that when I started WITHIN Ministry four years ago and God led me to include a devotional section on the site’s page, that He was beginning to plant the seed for this book. I didn’t realize that when I would begin to get discouraged because there wasn’t as much interaction on the ministry site as I thought there should be, God reminding me  to stay faithful to writing these devotionals was all for a purpose.

As the years passed and I continued to write, I would hear, what I like to call now, “God’s echoes” about writing a devotional book from several people I knew. I heard it and tucked it away for “one day.”

As the echoes grew louder, I decided to pay attention. Summer of 2012, I had the opportunity to attend the Proverbs 31 conference that would allow me to present a book proposal to top Christian publishers like Zondervan and Discovery House. I couldn’t believe I found myself sitting in front of publishers sharing with them my vision for these devotionals and what I thought “Every Day with My Maker” would do for those who read it. I received great feedback and even had one of the publishers accept my proposal.

I was on cloud nine!

Then a couple of weeks later, sitting at a prayer conference, the man of God who spoke for that evening talked about how the promises of God are yes and amen and whatever God promised, He would do it. Something in me whole-heartedly believed that this devotional book was a promise from God. I guess that was what I needed to hear at that moment because 10 minutes later, when I checked my phone, I received an email from the publisher who had accepted my proposal at the conference letting me know that it didn’t make it through the final cut.

I looked at that email and smiled with such peace. I knew what God still promised me.

It just needed to be the right time.

And I guess the right time is now. A year later, God knew exactly what He was doing when He opened the doors for me to finally publish this devotional book. No, it isn’t with those top publishers, but it was with whom He had already orchestrated before time.

So now I understand what God means when He tell us that when we are faithful over little, He will make us faithful over much. I’ve come to understand that God is not a second too late or a second too early. His timing is perfect and this journey to creating “Every Day with My Maker” is but a small glimpse that what God has promised us, it will come in due season.

My hope and prayer for this devotional book is that it will awaken those who read it to know that our God is a moment-by-moment God. He longs to engage us in the seemingly mundane things of life and life will never be the same when we invite Him into our every days.

“To everything there is a season…” (Eccl. 3:1). Thank you for supporting me in this season of my life!