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Life: Empty & Full

Because I used to be afraid to talk about racism…

I used to be afraid to talk about racism. I found myself believing that talking about this apparent problem was going against my faith; that somehow I couldn’t be a Christian and talk about this issue because it would mean that I would be on the side of causing division rather than unity.

Then I came to realize how foolish that was. So foolish that it sounded like I was saying that I was afraid to talk about sin because somehow talking about sin meant that I wasn’t talking about the loving God who offered forgiveness and grace.

Here is why I have been freed to talk about this issue: Because the root of racism isn’t institutional. The act of institutionalization of racism is the action of sinful hearts.

And here is what I have always known: We have a Savior who helps us confront our sin while offering us amazing, radical grace.

Racism didn’t appear out of thin air. And the U.S isn’t the only place that it takes place. Since the fall of man, disunity has been the pattern created. The construct of disunity based on one’s physical feature has continued to inform how one is treated. It’s real. And God isn’t caught off guard by it. He’s been dealing with it way before the U.S came into the picture. He’s simply sickened by it.

One because it’s sin. And two because it seeks to negate the work He has done for “everyone.” Not just fair skinned. Not dark skinned. Not wide nosed. Not thin nosed.

 Everyone.

As believers, ones who have been renewed in our minds on how we view God and one another, we have been called to a ministry of reconciliation.

 

“One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in His death so that everyone could also be included in His life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people every lived on their own.

Because of this decision, we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong as you know. We certainly don’t look at Him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is create new….We’re Christ representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. (2 Corinthians 5: 14-20 MSG)

 Powerful passage that reminds us that we have been called to act, speak, think and live in such a way that brings the distance between a person and God closer while at the same time God drawing the distance between one another closer. It reminds us that the construct of race as a dividing factor can longer be upheld as believers. It reminds us that race can’t be our idol.

There are many conversations that have erupted because of racism. And the enemy is so cunning with where he wants this conversation to lead humanity. However, we can’t be led to where he wants us to go—which is a constant state of division.

 So that’s why we as believers have to talk about racism…

Let’s talk about it because we as believers will be confronted by it in our lives and we have to know how to respond.

Let’s talk about it not for the sake of stirring up hate and division but as believers,  if we don’t, it will stir hate and division.

Let’s talk about it because its ugly head has made its way into the body of Christ and if we as His body can’t even take on the ministry of reconciliation we are called to take on, then who will?

Let’s talk about it because we have seen the power of the Gospel change our hearts and minds towards one another and we have seen Love overcome and now this message burns in our hearts for the world.

Let’s talk about it because God calls us to be the voice of those who are still victims of this sin.

Let’s talk about it because it’s darkness and our actions bring light. Why are we hiding our light under a bushel?

Let’s talk about it because we believe God can use us to deconstruct individual minds that can eventually change institutions.

Let’s talk about it because we believe that His Gospel doesn’t stop at just preaching Jesus, it’s living Jesus. And I don’t know if you’ve read the book of the gospels because you would know that Christ talked about what others tried to hide from: SIN.

We don’t have to be afraid. God isn’t intimated by this conversation. He actually would love to give us the wisdom and the grace to bring light to this so that His work can be seen in greater measures through us. He wants to make sure our conversations and actions are motivated by His love because our responsibility is to make sure that our righteous indignation doesn’t morph into self-righteousness which eventually turns into hateful actions.

These are serious times. While the enemy wreaks havoc in this world, we as believers can’t sit back and be OK with it. If there was ever a time that we need God’s presence in our individual lives AND our churches, it’s now. We have to increase our capacity to receive God’s love so that we don’t grow cold and bitter. We have to increase our sensitivity to the Spirit of God so that can fight this battle that isn’t against flesh and blood but against principalities and dark forces. He’s given us the weapons. We just have to know how to use them.

The world is dying to see what true reconciliation looks like and we as ambassadors of reconciliation have the power to show it to them through the way we come together in unity. There is so much work to be done but we have to privilege of moving the needle forward.

There is so much more I desire to say and desire to write but I will wait for another post so that I can leave you with the WORDS that truly matter: God’s Word. Here is what Jesus prays in John 17:

 

“I’m praying not only for them [disciples]

But also for those who will believe in me

Because of them and their witness about me.

The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind-

Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,

So they might be one heart and mind with us.

Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.

The same glory you gave me, I gave them,

So they will be as unified and together as we are-

I in them and you in me.

Then they’ll be mature in this oneness.

And give the godless world evidence.

That you’ve sent me and loved them.

In the same you’ve loved me.”

 

The Journey to “COME AWAY”

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD (Isaiah 55:8).

The more breaths He allows me to take, the more appreciation I gain for this declaration!

Three years ago, I knew that God had put the desire in me to have a retreat for WITHIN Ministry. I saw it clear as day. My heart would beat faster whenever I would think about it. Ladies gathering for a weekend, seeking the Lord. Fellowshipping with one another. Hearts being transformed. Memories being made. I saw how it beautiful that would be! So I put it to prayer and put my hands to work.

Two attempts. Two different years. Two different approaches. None went through. I didn’t understand. Why wasn’t God giving me the go for the plans I had created that would allow close to 75 ladies to come together and grow in the Lord? Why would He continue growing this desire within me but thwart the plans I would create to execute it?

I began feeling like I wasn’t hearing Him anymore. I became discouraged and eventually tucked away the plans and tried to suppress the desire.

Then the weekend of November 15th 2014 happened. I was invited to speak at a young ladies’ “Sisterhood” Retreat in Texas. An intimate group of close to 25 ladies came together and encountered an amazing time in the Lord and with one another.

At one point, we were sitting on the floor going around sharing and laughing, when all of a sudden, it was like the eyes of my heart were opened! That moment, a clear understanding of this desire that God put in me illuminated. THIS is how the Lord wanted it. The word “INTIMATE” rang loud in my ears.

I slept that night with a revived passion for the WITHIN retreat because it felt like I finally heard God’s desire for the retreat. Not my understanding of how it should be.

Because truth be told…I thought it should have been 75 ladies. A large group. A lot of activities. A lot of structure.

I thought it should have been collaborated with other ministries.

I thought it should have been….

But God gently allowed blocks on the road from fulfilling those “should have beens” to what NEEDED be:

Intimate. Personal. Intentional.

And not because retreats can’t be a large group, but because that was not what God had desired for WITHIN Ministry.

And now I know why…

Three years later from when this desire was planted, “COME AWAY” retreat took place.

Words can’t and won’t adequately describe how the Lord met 20 ladies gathered in a lodge up in the Poconos Mountain the weekend of May 29-31st, but I will say this: We came, never anticipating what took place. We left, never to return the way we came.

His ways are truly higher than our ways. All weekend, I thanked God for loving these ladies SO much that He wouldn’t allow any other plan to go through because of the great plan He had prepared for them, since the foundation of this world! Mind blowing! How humbling to know that this ministry would be a part of each of these women of valor’s story!

God really does exceedingly and abundantly ALL that we could ever THINK or IMAGINE and I am forever grateful.

 I pray that you are encouraged by this. Even the desires that God puts within you must be heeded to the way HE desires for them to be done through you. Trust that He will guide you as you put your hands to work. Just make sure you obey when He says NOT now. And NOT this way, because here is what I’ve learned: He knows what He’s doing;-)

 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthian 2:9)

 

 

Here are some pictures from our “COME AWAY” retreat to give you a glimpse of what we experienced:

 

 

breakfast breakfast3 christina commisioning dea firstnight group jacyln jazmine lizandbecky momv names outdoor2 prayingforzenobia secondnight shiqeerah shiqeerah2 sign welcome bags worship3 dancing3

 

dancinghuddlelodgenicolezenobiaandamandayodit

We left Charged as ChAYIL (Women of Valor)

We left Charged as ChAYIL (Women of Valor)

Filling Fridays

Many things in life will either FILL us or DRAIN us. I’ve desginated Fridays as “Filling Fridays” to share with you all things that have filled my soul, spirit, and life and I pray they do the same for you. Sometimes it’s music. It can be a book. It can be art. Whatever it is, the hope is that it will FILL you with something GOOD!

 This week, I want to share a singer/worshipper who has been blessing my socks off!! Her voice is out of this world and her lyrics are piercing! Her name is Morgan Harper Nichols (sister of Jamie Grace) and her new album called “StoryTeller” just came out and all I have to say is GET IT! This will FILL you reeeeeaaaal Good! This song posted is one of my favorites! 

 

I have NO idea…But He does.

Happy New Year friends!

It’s 2015! I thought we would be in cool robotic looking outfits by now….but….I guess I can thank God that we aren’t! :-)

This time of the year always brings in excitement. New Goals. New Vision. New Things. New You. Just all together NEW!

The promises of “THIS is YOUR year!”

“This is the year of turn-around!”

“This is the year of manifestation!”

“This is the year of growth!”

“This is the year of…you fill in the blank.”

And I in no way want to sound cynical…it’s just that I no longer really pay attention to those sayings any more.

The truth is…

I have NO idea what this year holds for me. I have no idea what I will encounter. I really have no idea what to really put my hands to. So many times I’ve fallen under the pressure of forcing myself to envision something because everyone else had this vision and this goal and this plan.

Last year, in the beginning of the year, I fell into a period of anxiety and depression because I had allowed that kind of pressure to get the best of me. And how did I find myself?

Paralyzed.

I couldn’t put my hands to anything because I was so overwhelmed by all that I had on my plate and I felt like I had to keep doing more.

I learned a big lesson in 2014 and I vowed that I wouldn’t bring it into this year.

I vowed that every year, my vision will be to draw closer and deeper in the Lord, for that is where my life and everything pertaining to it flows from.

I vowed to remind myself that doing more doesn’t mean I mean more to Him.

I vowed to keep my visions and plans prayerfully before Him before setting out to do any of them.

I vowed that I will no longer drive myself to worry and anxiety because I couldn’t see what the future held for me.

Last year, fear drove me to a place I didn’t want to be. But I thank God His love drove me closer to Him so I could be wiser.

This year, I will no longer let fear drive me just because I don’t know what this year holds or I don’t know what direction to really go. And as weird as it sounds…I am excited about not knowing!

I will remain faithful to where He has planted me and rest assured that His Word will be a lamp unto my feet- giving me enough light to step in the right direction. I am at the mercy of His leading. That’s how much I need Him.

This is my verse for this year and I will hold on to it for dear life:

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

The peace that comes in knowing that my God has already paved the way is amazing. He’s gone where I will go. All I need to do is hold on to His hands and let Him take me to the uncharted territories that He’s charted for me. So I don’t need to be afraid or discouraged when things don’t seem to be going the way I had envisioned.

Ahhhh…such peace.

So here is to 2015…a year filled with faith adventures. A year where you can strip off the unrealistic expectations of doing more and learn to BE more in Him so you can DO more of what He desires for you to do.

I’m ready!

 

 

 

God isn’t a Formula…

16 years ago, I sat in the pews of chapel at my boarding school and struggled to understand what the preacher was talking about.

 My mind hadn’t grasped who Jesus was. I had heard the stories of what He did for us and how He died for us.   But if you were to ask me then what they really meant for me, I couldn’t tell you.

I sat confused.

16 years later, I live amazed by Him and I live for Him. Not that I have figured Him out completely, but within those years, my eyes, my ears, my heart and my life opened up to know God. His love. His grace. His mercy. His ways. His word.

Someone recently asked me how  I manage to stay this committed? How did I get to where I am in God?

I had asked myself that question once before, but I think this was the first time I received such a deep revelation about God and what a relationship with Him means.

I could have easily answered my friend by saying it was through reading my Word + praying + going to church+ going to conferences+ worshiping + doing good deeds + [whatever fits] equaled a closer relationship with God.

But that would be FAR from the truth.

As I sat to think about this question and reflect on my journey, one simple truth resonated in my heart:

 There is NO formula to a relationship with God.

God is far from a formulaic equation. He goes beyond that kind of limitation.

 Formulas are predictable. Our lives are NOT.

A relationship with God isn’t a 1-2-3 step program, nor is it a check off the list kind of task.

You don’t arrive because you followed a tutorial.

I don’t know if you have read the bible, but if we have an honest look at those whom God chose to tell us about, they don’t have pretty and primped stories. No. They were messy. Complicated. Dramatic. Gut-wrenching stories.

Consider David, whom God called a “man after His own heart.” Committed adultery. Committed murder. Committed rebellion.  Yet he captured God’s heart.

Consider Peter, who denied Jesus 3 times. Not at different points in his life. No, it happened one after the other, in one setting. Yet, Jesus said He would build His church upon the fact that Peter had the revelation that Jesus was the Son of God.

Consider the woman caught in adultery. Brought to Jesus by the teachers of the law because what she had done was damnable. Yet, Jesus spoke these words that would forever change the trajectory of her life: “Neither do I condemn you…” (John 8:11)

I don’t know about you but the way God responds to each of these lives is outside of any formula. It’s within the heart of that person. Unique. Tailor-made.

His love doesn’t respond to formula. It responds to desperation. It responds to hunger. It responds to the cries of our individual and unique hearts for the more that we didn’t even know we needed until our eyes were pried open to this light, this love, this touch that felt different from any other thing we had ever chased.

He responds to our everyday mess-ups. Failures. Disobedience. Rebellion.

Jesus responds to those who are looking for an answer. Not to those who think they know HOW to find that answer.

So how do I stay committed?

I keep living. I keep walking. I keep waking up every day in NEED of Him. I keep running back even when I want to run away. I keep seeing and experiencing His love for me and that has made me run faster and faster back to Him.

I think the great philosopher and theologian, Augustine of Hippo, said it best when he wrote:

 “To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek Him the greatest adventure; to find Him, the greatest human achievement.”

I have fallen in love with my Savior. And that has made all the difference.

So BE FREE with your Savior. Remove the formulas and receive the Free Love of God.

Because some opportunities NEVER come back…#urgencyofNOW

I never wanted to believe it when people would tell me that there were some opportunities that present themselves that would never present themselves again if not taken at that moment.

In my mind, I thought, well if God wanted me to have it, then it would come again. And I learned more recently, that it isn’t all the way true. Because, there are some opportunities that when God gives it to you, it’s because the impact it has for that moment can’t be duplicated. It’s for that NOW. And yes, God can redeem it but it won’t have the same impact that it could have had.

Here is my story:

I have a colleague who has been sick for a while now. One day, I was running late to work and ended up parking in the garage that I normally don’t park in but because of the way I think, I told God, “Well…I’m late. I guess you should use me even in my tardiness.”

Be careful what you tell God to do. He will do it.  And He did.

As I pull in, I see my co-worker whom I admire very much and enjoy talking to and learning form because of the person that they are. Brilliant in thought. Humorous. Hard worker. And…for the past 5 years, I’ve known that God had a hand on his life whether he really knew it or not.

We ended up parking next to each other and walked and talked till we got to the elevator. As he’s talking, Holy Spirit said to me, “Tell him you want to pray for him and that you believe in the power of healing.” Now…when I heard this, it made sense to me because of what I had been experiencing in God at that point. I had been studying healing and have been asking God for opportunities to pray and believe for healing for people. And it seemed like this was one of those opportunities.

BUT….

Fear set in. Flesh set in. Thoughts of feeling as if that would just be too weird set in. I couldn’t see myself stopping in the middle of this garage deck and laying hands on him.

And so as we are talking about his health, my spirit is screaming, “PRAY.”

My flesh is screaming “NOT NOW”.

And within that split second, I missed the opportunity.

I walked away ashamed. Asking God to forgive me. And He did. But it still stung.

Fast forward a day ago when I find out that this same co-worker was diagnosed with bone cancer.

My heart hurt for him. I cried that he had to go through this. And the Lord quickly reminded me of that moment in that garage deck where I had that opportunity to pray for him.

What IF I had done it? What IF that moment could have kept this moment from happening?

And you know what…I could live in the WHAT IF’s and wallow in guilt. But that’s not what God wanted. I knew that in that moment when God reminded me of that time, it was so that I received the urgency of the NOWs that God gives us in doing something OUTSIDE of fear, for His glory.

He says in His word:

 “As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work” (John 9:4, NIV).

God will redeem this. I know He will because now there will be opportunities to pray for him and share Jesus with him in these next moments of his journey. I still believe for healing. Still believing that God will use this illness to draw him closer.

But that other time will NEVER come again. And yes, a part of me still wonders. But now more of me says, I will be ready for the next opportunity. I will do the work that he sends me to do.

AND, for that to happen, I need to remain in His presence so I can be sensitive to His presence in my daily walk and let go of the fear of looking weird. Being rejected. Or any other nonsense. And you know what puts that more into perspective for me?  When I know that we have brothers and sisters being persecuted and beheaded in the Middle East all for the cause of Christ! And we can’t even pray for people?

These  times are serious. If I’ve ever believed that, it is NOW.

God is moving. God is shaking this Earth so that His sons and daughters can wake up and start PROCLAIMING who He is in all parts of life. In our jobs. Homes. Communities. Schools. Everywhere we are. He is.

And God WILL show up! I promise you. He WILL show up. Believe Him and trust that He wants to use you NOW!

Because as hard as it is to say, some opportunities will never come again.

 

Filling Fridays

Many things in life will either FILL us or DRAIN us. I’ve desginated Fridays as “Filling Fridays” to share with you all things that have filled my soul, spirit, and life and I pray they do the same for you. Sometimes it’s music. It can be a book. It can be art. Whatever it is, the hope is that it will FILL you with something GOOD!

 This week, I want to share with you a couple of songs from all genres that have been blessing my soul–worshiping, dancing, singing, rapping…all FILLING!!  Enjoy:

 

Citipointe: Higher +Wider+Deeper

 

Mali Music’s NEW album:Mali Is

 

Sam Smith: Latch (Disclosure version)

Sam Smith: Latch (Disclosure version)

Lecrae: Nuthin

Let’s stop being SELFISH with this JOY….

Last night, we found out that one of the world’s greatest actors died a tragic death. After suffering from depression for many years, Robin Williams was led to commit suicide and was found dead in his home yesterday.

What I feel every time I hear this type of news doesn’t get old.  It’s absolutely heart wrenching when someone dies before their time.

I was watching CNN last night and Larry King, who was being interviewed about his thoughts on the tragic death of Robin Williams, asked “How can someone who seemingly had everything…money..fame..success…happiness…take his own life? We have not found the answer yet.”

I found that to be so telling of our world. It’s yet again a reminder that those things he named aren’t what fulfill our eternal longings. Only the HOPE of something greater does and it makes me very sad that there are many who conclude that “there is NO point to life.”

There is a point. The point is that Jesus went to the point of death so that we can have something greater. LIFE built on HOPE. Not money. Not fame. Not “happiness.” LIFE built on an eternal joy.

A joy that overcomes lack or abundance.

Here is a man who brought joy into others’ lives, yet deep inside his joy was nonexistent. Depression is real. I am not negating the seriousness of it. But I’ve also learned that Jesus’ JOY is real too! And to only attribute his depression to a scientific, clinical problem is telling of how this world views hopelessness.

We as believers should be reminded of how IMPORTANT our lives are in showing the joy that we have in Christ to this world. It’s not to be hoarded to fulfill our own desires. It’s to be shared. It’s to show others that we are not selfish but willing to NOTICE. Willing to roll our sleeves and help those in darkness find LIGHT!

Let’s stop being selfish with this joy.

And these are serious times. Pray.

27 Years…27 Lessons: God, Life, Myself and People

smile

Today is a special day for me and my better half–my TWIN MELKAM!!  We celebrate 27 years of life!!  I  acknowledge the LOVE and  faithfulness of God over my life in these past 27 years. So hard to believe that I am here already.   I’ve enjoyed the ride—all the bumpy roads, Smooth roads, Hills. Plains. Flowers. Rain. Every last bit of it! And I’ve learned SO much and in honor of my 27th birthday, I wanted to share 27 lessons I’ve learned about God, life, myself and people in my 27 years of life:-)

27 lessons: 

  1. When  God says NO it’s a NO
  2. When He says Yes, it’s a YES
  3. Life is more exciting when we allow God to interrupt our days.
  4. I need to do more listening. Less talking. More gets done that way.
  5. I love making lists and crossing them off!
  6. I think I would make an amazing events coordinator
  7. God is not a God of order. He can do what He wants to do. When he wants to do it. And He’s kinda always right.
  8. God is faithful even when we are not! (Thank you Jesus)
  9. I am a lot funnier than I thought. (Should I try out to be a comedian??or am I pushing it? lol)
  10. Desperation is always the best place to be with God.
  11. One of the most important relationships you can have is with yourself
  12. God has a sense of humor. I need to get on His level.
  13. He wants me. I need Him. I want Him…He needs me. It’s humbling.
  14. God’s work in my life is seen through the people He connects me with.
  15. I no longer trust myself when I say I will take a nap lol.
  16. Worry less.  Sit still and talk to Him more.
  17. I can do anything I put my mind to.
  18. Prayer NEVER wastes time. If anything, it saves time.
  19. It’s really OK to REST.  Actually I NEED to REST.
  20. God doesn’t hate feeling. Feel. Just let Him guide your actions.
  21. You will miss out A LOT in life if you live by the #nonewfriends  slogan.
  22. I don’t need to DO in order to BE. But I do need to BE before I Do.
  23. Endings are not bad. Embrace them no matter how hard they are.
  24. You can’t compare your worship.
  25. Embracing who I am and all of me  has been LIBERATING. And it allows people to be  Liberated to be THEMSELVES.
  26. Everything is beautiful in its time.
  27. God’s not FINISHED with me yet. (Another thank you Jesus)

“Just Friends” Is It Possible?

I was told that girls and guys couldn’t be just “friends.”

It’s bound that one of the two will end up being attracted to each other and it will potentially ruin everything.

Here is my story.

I have two brothers and I grew up playing sports. I would say I had a tom-boyish side to me! I found myself around guys because of my love for sports. I developed rich relationships where the mindset wasn’t to romantically get to know each other. It was simply that I was a part of their life and they were a part of mine. Their friendship became a part of my story.

They were great friends. They had my back. I had theirs. We laughed. I cried. They listened (you know guys think they are too macho to cry lol). We got mad at each other. We had deep conversations.  We had shallow conversations. We had friendship.

Did they take the place of the kind of friendship that a female would mean to me? No. Instead, they added something different.

A kind of different that helped me see things from a completely different angle. A kind that helped me understand how and why God made us different. A kind that enriched me as a girl.

Then, things began to change.

As I continued growing in my relationship with God, ironically, the “Christian culture” started shifting the way I would view my relationship with guys.

I would hear all of these rules that made sure we ladies and men knew how to “interact” with one another:

 “Make sure you give side hugs.” They would say.

“Don’t be alone with a guy…it doesn’t look good. People can assume the worst.”

And of course this one…“Girls and guys just can’t be friends.”

Having the kind of relationships I had with guys, yet wanting to “guard my heart,” I found myself in an interesting place.

I started being looked at “funny” when I would grab lunch with one of my “guy” friends because of the assumption that we were “talking.”

All of a sudden, I started believing, well maybe I really can’t be friends with a guy. Maybe it isn’t a good look. Maybe it’s just not possible to have anything outside of a romantic relationship with a guy.

 So what did I do?

I completely shut off the male friends I had in my life. GREAT male friends at that. Ones who were always encouraging.  Ones who edified me. Ones who genuinely cared for me. Ones I enjoyed being around.  (I know—horrible).

I couldn’t handle what people were saying. I couldn’t find a way to explain myself without feeling judged and misunderstood.

So, I bought into the lie.

The lie that our brothers can’t offer us real friendship because it’s just too dangerous!

The lie that having a guy friend could keep you from recognizing your husband. 

The lie that girls get too attached and it could cause confusion.

The lie that the guy is really attracted to you but you kept him in the friend zone, but if you were to have given him a chance to be more, he would go for it. 

To be honest…as I’ve grown older and more mature in my faith…I’ve recognized that much of this is nothing but ignorance at its best to keep our minds in a shallow, limited and deceived place.

I deal with women on a daily basis.  The ministry that God has given me encourages women to walk worthy in the manner of our calling. To be whole. To love God so we can live this life with all that He has for us- in all areas.

Not to bash men. Not to paint men to be the bad guy. Not to tell ladies that they can’t have male friends. Not to call every man that is not their husband a “random.”

Because I refuse to believe that any man is “random”.

Yes, there are those guys who are NOT good for you. But they aren’t random. They have purpose and they have destiny. It’s just that you are not a part of that for them.

I’m very cautious that this ministry doesn’t negate the place of the opposite sex in our lives just because it’s a women’s group. I seek to help women understand the intention and purpose of relationships in ALL areas. Not just when it is confined to a husband and wife.

So I write from a place of frustration that in the body of Christ, there is no ONE talking about how to have HEALTHY relationships with the opposite sex. Rather, it’s all about, “you are precious, (which you are) and you just have to worry about being precious for your husband, (not for anyone else?)

What is that about?

What happened to the days where we can really look at each other as brothers and sisters? Hang out in a group of males and females and enjoy one another’s company without confusion of what we are?

And I’m not talking about being naïve to the temptations that are around, but genuinely asking God to give us pure hearts and eyes so that our place in each other’s life is respected and lived to enhance one another in love. In service. In authentic relationship.

Because it’s SO NEEDED.

Too many of us are out there trying to navigate through life with a tainted perspective of how the opposite sex has a role in your life, leading us to immature decisions.

AGAIN… I am NOT saying be naïve!

There are boundaries. There is WISDOM that we as humans must use. And YES we must guard our hearts (men and women). Our emotions are real. Our situations are unique.

What I am saying is that true maturity in God comes when we are able to recognize the purpose of friendship and not allow the over-sexualized thinking of society infiltrate the purity of friendship and confine what the Lord has called us to be free in.

And as believers, we have the Spirit of God willing to guide us in all we do. If we are willing to submit our thoughts and actions to Him in this area of relationships, He will guide us. He will give us discernment and offer us caution when needed and freedom where it’s needed.

And I believe freedom IN the mind is needed when it comes to having healthy relationships with the opposite sex because IT IS POSSIBLE.

God is not confined by our gender!

I have been beyond blessed to have some incredible men of God who value me as a woman. They speak life to me. They let me know when I’m making a bad decision and cheer me on when I’ve made the right ones.

They tell me I’m beautiful. And I don’t take it in a romantic or pushy way. I hear it in a way that lets me know that I am loved and appreciated and that my worth is recognized.

It’s not enough to tell women and little girls to not be lured into the wrong guy because he tells you that you’re beautiful. We must be willing to let them recognize the ones who mean it, not because they want anything from you, but because they recognize a gem when they see it.

I know many women who have been hurt by men and many men who have been hurt by women. And many minds have been tainted to no longer trust one another. So we learn to keep our guards up with that mindset rather than move towards true reconciliation of bringing back the purity of friendship.

So my dear sisters and brothers, as always…I share from a place of first knowing that true understanding and perspective comes from a deeper knowing of God. Keep spending time in God so that He will reveal the RIGHT and HEALTHY friendships to enter into with the opposite sex.

I also take this time to sincerely thank every male in my life who LOVES me genuinely and pushes me to be the best that I can be! I am a product of you all! You know who you are! I am sorry for buying into the lie that we couldn’t be friends.

 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:11-12).

 

 

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